Uncategorized – Writings from behind the Pine Curtain

God, I’m sick

My thoughts after reading “God, Where is the Wound?” by Schemanun Siluana Vlad Drawing closer to God can be painful as we are all suffering from sin. Mother Siluana talks about giving our pain and suffering to God so we can be healed. In the world, what I thought was dealt with or what IContinue reading “God, I’m sick”

All Things must come to an End: Change

Change is inevitable… unfortunately or fortunately depending on what the change is, and the perspective and disposition of the person experiencing it. It can be all very exhausting or at least this is how I currently feel about everything right now. Seasons roll by, one after the other, the earth, the night sky continually moving, allContinue reading “All Things must come to an End: Change”

Tending the Garden

Giving some thought on what it means to dissolve the ego or empty yourself. There are so many avenues available to us to attempt to achieve this goal. You can find instructions on “how to quiet the mind” or “find the inner stillness” or my personal favorite by David Goggins “Conquer your inner bitch” throughContinue reading “Tending the Garden”

My Thoughts on Thoughts and a random poem for good measure

When dealing with intrusive thoughts most will say “you are not your thoughts”. On one hand, when dealing with thoughts, you have Elkhart Tolle who recommends eastern buddhist style meditation and on the other is what I have learned so far delving into Orthodox Christianity. Now I’ve only read a few of Elkhart Tolle’s worksContinue reading “My Thoughts on Thoughts and a random poem for good measure”

In Excess

It would seem the time at Christmas and afterwards are filled with decadence and excess. What else is there to do besides buying and eating? Moderation is for wussies, its Feast or Famine! Its February and I’m 10 pounds heavier, 10 grand poorer, and 10 scrolls closer to a mental breakdown. Okay everything was anContinue reading “In Excess”

75 Hard to Orthodox Christianity?

In my past posts I talk a lot about different fitness/wellness/diet routines I have tried to manage anxiety. This is something I’m still interested in, but had an interesting experience last spring with a challenge called a “75 Hard”. I had heard of this challenge for a while, it comes and goes like most trends.Continue reading “75 Hard to Orthodox Christianity?”

An Ode to Coffee with Cream

Starting the New Year on a humerous note. I was contemplating the wonders of coffee with cream as I was sipping black coffee. Black coffee is just not the same, it needs cream and nothing else. Going without something you throughly enjoy does make you appreciate it more. I will have black coffee today, andContinue reading “An Ode to Coffee with Cream”

Panic! It’s Life.

This will most likely be many posts about anxiety since it almost runs my life. It is a bit pathetic to admit most of my life’s decisions in the past 12 years had to take in account my anxiety disorder. It seems weak that I’m even writing about it, as most of the modern worldContinue reading “Panic! It’s Life.”

Mary Poem

Oh Mary! Please teach me to be like you Your faith unshakable As you unravel the destruction left by Eve’s selfish desires Submitting to God’s will Without doubt Without sedition Enduring scorn How loathsome you are in the eyes of men Who know not the life you carry Your womb is more spacious than theContinue reading “Mary Poem”

2 Meals a Day – Preparations

“Two Meals a Day” by Mark Sisson with Brad Kearns promises to be a “simple, sustainable strategy to lose fat, reverse aging, and break free from diet frustration forever”. I’ve tried it all Paleo, Whole 30, Keto, No-Sugar, low-carb, and my favorite diet, eat whatever the hell I want. Just a disclaimer, I am notContinue reading “2 Meals a Day – Preparations”