Giving some thought on what it means to dissolve the ego or empty yourself. There are so many avenues available to us to attempt to achieve this goal. You can find instructions on “how to quiet the mind” or “find the inner stillness” or my personal favorite by David Goggins “Conquer your inner bitch” through drugs, meditation, physical exertion, religion, etc.
Lately I have been contemplating this from a Christian viewpoint and the following verse really grabbed my attention.
John 15:1-7
I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
What exactly does is mean to “dissolve your ego” or “conquer your inner bitch”? Is this similiar to God pruning the branches so it will produce more fruit? From a Christian viewpoint if we look at it to mean dissolving your sinful nature or conquering the passions, then the verse means we can only do these things with Christ abiding in us. We can empty ourselves, but we must fill it with goodness that can only come from God.
In a sense a gardening theme really works to explain this, at least gives a sense of what it means to live a life worth living. Sins or passions are like weeds in our garden of life that we must try to take away. Most of the time we can pull out a weed to where we no longer see it, but it is still rooted in the ground to eventually grow. Every once in a while we grab a weed out by the roots (very satisfying as the kids say). Some weeds are like trees where it takes digging and some help from others to pull it out or at least chop it down. This takes constant toiling, sweat and our hands get bloodied and torn. As we work clearing the mess, the Gardener can come and plant beautiful flowers and fruit-bearing trees. We can enjoy the sweet perfume and see the blooms, enjoy any fruit the Gardener gives us but if we stop for too long of a rest or take pride in “our” work then the weeds will take root and return. Others can come along and see the beauty unfolding before them. Most of them do not see you ripping and pulling out weeds unless they look closely. They just see the fruits, greenery and expanse of colors that is there because you invited “the Gardener” to make the land good. But the work has to be done, the soil needs to be laid bare before any good seed can be planted. It takes work and participation. The more the Gardener is able to work filling the garden with life the harder it becomes for the weeds to get established. Of course one can do the work, pulling weeds, but if the Gardener is not welcomed to sow seeds, the land remains barren and useless, an open invitation for thieves to sow destruction.
In this secular age we are so used to having all our comforts given to us that we become so numb and need more and more to experience pleasure (dopamine hits). We constantly feast and purposely fill our garden with so much junk and excess that it blocks out any light or a sense of reality. We have to purposely schedule discomfort (dieting, rigorous exercise, cold plunges, etc) in order to feel alive.
Why do men learn through pain and suffering, and not through pleasure and happiness? Very simply, because pleasure and happiness accustom one to satisfaction with the things given in this world, whereas pain and suffering drive one to seek a more profound happiness beyond the limitations of this world. -Fr Seraphim Rose
In order to “tame your inner bitch” in my mind it refers to your sinful nature. Which is actually foreign to you and not a natural state. However it feels natural that you assume it is a real part of you, which makes the process of “emptying” yourself or “weeding the garden” painful. This is why eastern religions contain a sliver of truth, it is good to quiet those foreign, nasty thought that tempt you into terrible ideas and actions. What we chose to fill it with is where there is a major difference. Don’t feel your garden with worldly joys and pleasures. Only the Gardener (Christ) is able to make the land good and fruitful. In the end, the World only offers death, but Christ offers life.
Writings from behind the Pine Curtain 