Intention

Why am I writing about my adventures to find better health solutions for mental and physical well-being? What are my expectations or intentions?

Have you ever had an anxiety or panic attack? Have you ever felt your heart pounding in your chest so loud that you were sure everyone within earshot could hear it? Or felt sweat pouring down your back? Seen your hands shake or the room start spinning? Couldn’t breathe or felt like you were choking? Felt like you surely were going to pass out and die? More than likely you have felt some or all of the feelings above as anxiety disorder is very common, statistically speaking. There are more than 3 million cases in the United States per year.

Then why is anxiety or even other mental disorders not being discussed more often in the open. No one likes to admit or talk about their anxiety or depression because they are afraid to be seen has weak, crazy, unstable, etc., by others (whom are likely suffering their own mental health issues). It doesn’t help when you share your mental health issues with others only for them to say something to the effect of “can’t you just snap out of it”, or “you can control it, mind over matter”. Maybe you can control it with your mind, but nonetheless this is really an insensitive statement and not helpful at all. Anxiety has to be one of the worst feelings in the world, so if I could willingly snap out of it, I would. It’s a little embarrassing (and expensive) when you bring yourself to the ER only to find out that you are not at death’s door, but having anxiety. It took several years of multiple doctor visits, a MRI scan and neurological evaluation to convince me that I wasn’t suffering from an ailment surely to kill me, but anxiety. Anxiety is no joke, and not something you can snap out of by wishing it away.

Anxiety/depression affects everyone differently, granted the symptoms are generally consistent, but not everyone reacts the same. For me anxiety is a never-ending negative feedback loop. I had a bad panic attack while driving across town, next time I was behind the wheel all I could think about is “I hope I don’t feel like that again”, then – boom, panic attacks. I went from loving to drive to being afraid to drive down a street. At my worst I would panic at stoplights, heavy traffic, highways, bridges, so basically all of driving. I was bordering on becoming severely agoraphobic, never wanting to step out of the door. Now I am able to drive, but still avoid highways, high bridges, and bridges over large bodies of water. This is just one example of how anxiety/panic has effected my life. As you can imagine anxiety has become a major cause of disruption in my life.

I hope blogging or writing about my experiences will not only help me, but maybe help or inspire someone else as well.